Fatigue

When you look at a list of possible side-effects resulting from chemotherapy, fatigue is always there. But I had no idea at all what that really meant. Being more tired than normal? I have always been able to push myself, to keep on going, to power through things but this fatigue thing has brought me to my knees and truly, I suspect it may get worse before it gets better.

At the oddest times I find myself absolutely floored by the overwhelming urge to lay down. It's like a wave overcomes me and I MUST SIT NOW. Putting on mascara this morning I had to go sit on the couch because my arm could not do what I needed it to do! I sit down and then I want to nap. I wake up woozy and want to nap some more. It's pathetic. Not only that, it's boring, isolating, lonely and not a little depressing. The weather is beautiful outside and I am pretty much strapped to the couch. Whine whine whine.

This is the very real and not imagined result of being poisoned by chemo. Every single muscle in my body is exhausted by the fight. I told the doctor I was having a heck of a time with blurry vision and he said it was due to my eye muscles being fatigued by the chemo. That's right, even my eye muscles. I had no idea it would affect every single muscle in my body.

The very best thing I can do? Moderate exercise. Ha! Tonight I managed a slow walk down the street and back up again. That's it for exercise. I am eating really well, and that does help. Mostly, though, I suspect I just have to live with it and be patient with myself and know that this will pass eventually. I'm really tired of it already.