Last Friday I had an appointment to get set up with Radiation. It involved laying on a table, on a bag filled with tiny pellets, and being minutely adjusted to get my position juuuuuust right. It took forever and my arms were practically stuck from being held over my head for so long! My radiation tattoos were done before chemo, and they were able to still use them which was a relief. I really didn't want to end up with 6 blue dots. Three are enough.
After I was perfectly adjusted I was sent into the CT machine a few times. CT machines freak me out a little.
For some reason the entire set up process made me incredibly emotional. I think it's that I am just starting to claw my way out of the "feeling like crap" abyss that the last couple chemos sent me into. I don't want to go back. I don't want more procedures. I don't want radiation fatigue. Or burning. Or heart and lung damage. Or sore ribs. I just want to keep on feeling better every day and I'd like to not go back to the hospital. Like ever again.
Good news is that for most people who have done chemo, radiation is a cakewalk. Let's hope. I start on Monday, the 17th, and will go 5 days a week for 6 weeks.
Also last Friday, I had a date. We had another on Saturday. And on Sunday. Yep, me. The bald girl. We'd been talking for a long time, and had met briefly, but this was our first opportunity to spend serious time together. So now I find myself in the early stages of a relationship. Astounding. There were a lot of things I expected to have happen during cancer treatment but this was not one of them.
Life is good.
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4 comments:
Well arent you just the cats pajamas! Sorry the radiation is sounding like a pain, but hey, chemo sounded awful too, and yes, it WAS but you did it. And you will do this as well. And date while you are at it? My my my.....And I feel accomplished in my day? You got me beat girl.
Love ya lots
Brenda
I had tears in my eyes reading this...but then you ended it with making me smile. I just KNEW that I was interrupting something when I called on Saturday! You go girl!! :-)
congrats on the date!!! what an inspiration you are.
re: rads - I hope it goes really well. I too become very emotional around anything that even comes near my body these days, even working out on new exercise equipment - I know it sounds silly but I just think our bodies have been through too much.
re: rads - I should do it but since it's optional for me I just can't bring myself to do it. For all the reasons you mentioned and then some.
And...so does this mean no Harmony Hill? My rads onc so wants me to do rads that she told me she'd even give me time off to do the retreat...so it's possible :)
See you on the 22nd for lunch! I get my port out the day before, hopefully I'll be up and at em by then. :)
I'm sooo excited for you girlie! :-D
The radiation will be just fine! I'll be thinking about you, as always. :-)
Love ya
Kimi
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