Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Last One

Tomorrow I have my very last chemo.

I dread it.

The last one was so hard on me. I still ache all over. I'm weak and fatigued, plagued by hot flashes, insomnia, numb feet and tingling hands. I can't go to work. I can't walk the dog. I'm beaten down. It's been 2 weeks since my last chemo and I still feel like shit.

How much farther down I can go? How much worse can I feel? Will I even be able to walk in a week?

I so do not want to do this.

But I will. One last time.

Have I mentioned how much I hate cancer treatment?

9 comments:

Unknown said...

{{{LAM}}} I feel so bad for you. I hope tomorrow goes okay. I can't wait for the day that they have a better way to treat cancer than to put poison in your body. It's just crazy!

I bet it won't be as bad as the last time, keep thinking positive thoughts! BTW, I'll be in NOLA this weekend. Do you want me to pick you up something?

Love
Kimi

katie said...

I know it may seem that there is no more strength left, but there is. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. Just hang on.

One more time into the abyss and then you can start your journey back.

TK said...

You can do it!! It is better than any other choice, you know that. The worse you feel, the worse the cancer cells feel! You are better than them so kick it lady!

Anonymous said...

You can do it Lammie!! Just one more time, and you are DONE! You'll have SO kicked that cancer's ass. We're with you today!

XOXO
Kelly


Hey cool Leeanne!
I'll be thinking about you all day. You can do it!!! I know you can!!! I beleve in you!!! You are so brave!!!
luv,
Maren :)

ND said...

Cancer treatment sucks. It's nearing the end of this season and good riddance to it!
Sooner than you realize perhaps, you'll be able to walk again, run even, in the sun, in the rain. Hang in. We're all here for you.
Love N

Anonymous said...

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...Just what makes that little old ant, think he can move that rubber tree plant...I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky...Raindrops keep falling on my head, but that doesnt mean my eyes will soon be turning red...

Dont MAKE me call you and sing over the phone, you think you feel bad now? You dont want your ears to hurt with everything else do you?

{{{{LAM}}}}} Get in there girl. We got your back.

Anonymous said...

Just thinking of you today. :)

kai said...

As horrible as this feels, and I know it's really horrible, just be glad they have a treatment. Soon this will all be just a distant memory.

I've been thinking of you all day knowing that tomorrow is your last treatment. Yeah!

Love, Karen

Anonymous said...

I met you at Amelia's 40th b-day party. I'll be sending positive thoughts your way over the next several days. Keep up the fight!

Dr. Direction